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Newsgroups: rec.food.cooking
From: Dana Ho <yb...@my-deja.com>
Date: Fri, 15 Dec 2000 16:58:02 GMT
Local: Sat, Dec 16 2000 4:58 am
Subject: Re: Cultural Table manners...
In article <uAxV5.24$s4.7...@gazette.loc1.tandem.com>,
"Tina Mongkolsmai" <tina.mongkols...@compaq.nospam.com> wrote: > I'd really like to discuss Chinese manners.. which are often more It is complicated even for a Chinese to marry another Chinese from > complicated than I'd have thought.. marrying a Chinese man requires a lot of > learning. another part of the country. Every region in China, Taiwan, and Hongkong has slightly different customs. The important thing is to observe, see what others are doing and are expected of you, and try your best to acommodate. > There are a LOT of things I have learned about Chinese culture where The elder ones are supposed to sit down first. You are not supposed parents > and children are concerned, particularly when eating. Supposedly, you let > parents sit inside at the table (against the wall as opposed to where their > chairs could be bumped) at a restaurant. I can never tell where I'm > supposed to sit so I never sit down first anymore. In my family it doesn't > matter. to clear away dishes when others are still eating. (It's different at restaurant though, the servers always do.) You are supposed to wait for the elder ones to start eating first. If you are the first one to start a dish, give the first pieces to the elder ones. This should be done with clean chopsticks. It's usually not a problem because you would put some food on their plate (or bowl or rice) before you start eating yourself. And this is generally done by the host. > In both cases, I will pour tea for everybody (including those younger You are supposed to pour tea for everyone (from oldest to youngest, and > older than me). For elders you're supposed to do it if you're one of the > older children. I even learned slow single finger-taps on the table means > pour, and two taps means stop pouring. You're also supposed to serve food > directly to elders (which in my family older does this for younger usually > so it feels weird for me). first men then women. For example, Grandpa, Grandma, Father, Mother, etc.) and then yourself. About finger tapping, some people do it, others don't. From what I heard and my friends practicing it, it means "thank you". Here's the origin, from what I've heard: At one time, an emperor wanted to go out like a normal citizen. So > And you never eat first, even when encouraged, unless you're sort of a That's right, you are supposed to finish what they give you. And guest > and they encourage you again (after your first refusal and your attempt to > serve them first). And take anything offered you by an elder (or host) > (plan in advance not to stuff yourself so you have room for the stuff they > try to feed you at the end of the meal in particular). tell them that everything tastes great. It's common sense, isn't it? Showing graciousness. > Don't add As others have pointed out, if you use it, it implies that the anything > to your food (ie salt, pepper, sauce). Condiments are for show. food doesn't taste good. > My husband didn't tell me most of these until I'd screwed them up, When I pictured it, it's weird to me too. It's because I didn't then'd > he'd say so either right there (in a whisper) (which ticks me off majorly) > or in the car afterward (acceptable). What's so natural to some, is totally > new to others. He used to complain about my eating with a fork and spoon, > saying it's weird. Come ON. I said sure, it's weird to YOU. He says no, > it's just weird. grow up doing it. You should be able to be yourself with your husband, just pretend a little when you are with his relatives. > Sometimes you just gotta learn new things. :) I Sent via Deja.com think > he's used to it by now. Of course he doesn't know how to eat that way. > Any other things that perhaps someone with similar experiences could > Tina http://www.deja.com/ You must Sign in before you can post messages.
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